Moving On After a Breakup or Divorce

Why was I with someone so wrong for me?

Am I ready to get back into the dating scene?

What exactly am I looking for…what if I get rejected?

I don’t want to go through another failed relationship — I feel like I’ve wasted time.

I forgot who I was and now I have to figure me out all over again…

The end of a relationship is kind of like a Sacramento morning in April — the chill leaves you feeling exposed, but the comfort of a warm afternoon hopefully lies ahead. A breakup can leave you wading through a sticky mix of emotions: relief, anger, insecurity, loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, and excitement.

Where do I go from here?

Eventually you’ll feel a familiar tug — that natural human pull to connect romantically, emotionally, or physically with another person.

Our need to create and be in relationships with others is healthy and normal — don’t let the guilt or shame of an ended relationship deny you the opportunity to try again. But, the how-to part can sometimes feel a little overwhelming.

When your relationship has ended and you eventually find yourself ready to try again, it might be helpful to consider the following:

  • What did I learn about myself after this last breakup?
  • What do I love about myself, that I need my next partner to value?
  • What would make me feel comfortable as I begin meeting new people?
  • What about my past relationships do I not want repeated?
  • What values or traits do I want my next partner have?
  • What are my “deal breakers”?
  • Who in my circle can I talk with about these things?
  • Could I use the help of a therapist to sort through things?

Moving on can actually be a positive experience!

A fresh understanding of who you are and the joy you deserve in relationships is totally possible with some reflection and contemplation.

Let me know if I can help as you grow out of your last relationship and into your future!